Relationship psychology >>>> Quarrels in the family

Quarrels in the family.

Usually family conflicts flare up suddenly, and of course no one has a plan in mind of how to regulate a quarrel, how to get out of a family quarrel, how to behave after a quarrel, and ultimately how to make peace. But some of the nuances of waging a family battle are still worth considering, if a quarrel in the family is inevitable.

A quarrel does not arise spontaneously - it is always the result of accumulated discontent. Of course, it is better if you notice the gathering clouds and begin to prevent the quarrel in order to prevent its height. But this is ideal, and not everyone can step over their own discontent and prevent a quarrel even before it starts.

Quarrels flare up when a person has already got used to the presence of another in his life, and ceases to reckon with the interests of the opposite side, showing his egoism. We are all selfish to one degree or another and put up with other people's quirks by making compromises. If there is no desire to compromise, the result is a quarrel.

What to do if a family quarrel could not be prevented, and you are in the midst of a scandal:

Don't add sparkle. The quarrel can be quickly ended if the other party listens to the claims in silence and agrees to think about them in the near future.
Do not add your retaliatory claims to the quarrel, otherwise even a minor family conflict can increase to the size of a divorce.
While your half is in conflict with you, think about what exactly might irritate her. Often family discord arises on one basis, and claims are made of a different nature, since a person cannot formulate exactly the cause of his irritation (not only to you, but to himself).

The most unpleasant time is the time after the end of the quarrel. Both parties may feel uncomfortable in each other's company, so someone goes to friends, someone - to a bar or "wherever they look." The best option is when the sides diverge at the corners, but throw each other. Here there is a chance to quickly establish relations and get out of the state of a quarrel.

How to reconcile in a family quarrel, if everyone considers himself right. In order to extinguish the quarrel and the subsequent unpleasant coexistence, it is not necessary to ask for forgiveness, especially since it is not known who to start and what to ask for. It is enough to sit down to the other half in a slightly playful way or lean against it, seemingly by accident, or tickle, and then pretend that it is not you who are going to reconciliation, but at the same time do not move away from the object and monitor the reaction. If in response the person is not particularly angry, then you can continue the rapprochement, but if you see that the anger of the other side does not disappear, step back and try to repeat the maneuver later.

Try to get out of family conflicts as quickly as possible, since lingering discord and tension in relationships lead to the fading of warm feelings for each other, and without them there is no point in being together.