Relationship psychology >>>> How to choose an ideal for love and creating a family?

How to choose an ideal for love and creating a family?

The image of an ideal love partner or life partner always occupies the minds of both men and women. But, according to the study of statistical surveys and the observations of scientists in the field of psychology, it turns out that the ideal loved one and the ideal marriage partner are completely different types of people. As a rule, the image of an ideal loved one is drawn by fantasy, and the image of an ideal marriage partner is based on previous personal experience of marriage or on the experience of other people, collected and told in books, educational literature or in personal stories of acquaintances about their marriage union. Where is the boundary between the ideal type of partner in love and the ideal marriage partner, and how to choose the ideal for love and for creating a family?

A person does not notice many of the shortcomings of another person in an outburst of love, and some of them are given a touch of originality, which gives piquancy to a love relationship. In a loved one, everyone seeks to see the maximum of positive features, for example, masculinity and courage, responsibility for their actions, indulgence to the whims of another person are welcomed in men, tenderness, responsiveness, kindness are welcomed in women. There are common attractive characteristics for both sexes, such as attentiveness and sensitivity, generosity, restraint in stressful situations. Fantasy endlessly draws all the known positive characteristics that a person can possess.

When choosing a life partner, they move from romanticism to practicality, and this, in turn, imposes on the ideal marriage partner a number of characteristics of a more precise order, for example, intelligence and wit, responsibility, material solvency, and the ability to be faithful are encouraged. According to the majority of people in marriage, the ability of a life partner to become a support in difficult times, to take on some of the cares for the life and material support of the family is valued, such character traits as reliability, endurance, respect and interest in the problems of a marriage partner are welcomed in marriage. It is not for nothing that a marriage union is called an economic union, since those characteristics of a person that help to keep the family at a decent economic level have an advantage in marriage.

The ideal image of a loved one, suitable for creating a marriage, is in the middle of both characteristics and sometimes looks blurry. Material security can be replace by generosity in a marriage union, education and high intelligence are fully replaced by ease of character, and the ability to empathize will help solve any problems of a domestic and economic nature. For this reason, it makes no sense to look for ideal characteristics in a person, trying to choose him both for love and at the same time for creating a prosperous family, since love impulses are born from the fantasies of the person himself, and the reliability of a partner in marriage is formed from more mundane factors of the surrounding life. Usually long-term close relationships between people are built on tolerance of people to each other, and not on the fantastic skills of both partners to maintain a love fire or on mutual economic benefits. People who have retained love in marriage have experience in resolving domestic conflicts, do not oppose themselves to a partner and do not seek solutions to family problems of any nature in replacing their marriage partner with another person.