My own psychologist >>>> How not to be nervous or nervous right?

How not to be nervous or nervous right?

Life every day throws out some tricks that excite the nervous system. At work, on the street, at home, there are reasons why you start to get nervous: you are offended at someone, you are worried about someone, you quarreled with someone, and nerve cells are all destroyed and destroyed ... How to stop being nervous?

Tip: "Keep calm!" it is easier to give than to use. Calmness for any reason is possible only when all emotions are turned off, but a person cannot control his emotions to the extent that he would like. Therefore, if there is no way to control your emotions, you need to learn how to control your nervous system (which is actually responsible for the manifestations of emotions) and filter stimuli, each of which is evaluated according to the principle of whether it is worth the cost of nerve cells or not. It is necessary to learn not to be nervous, not to let the nervous system turn on emotions before you want to use them!

In order not to be nervous in vain, you need to deal with your irritation. A person can experience several emotions at the moment of irritation: annoyance, resentment, indignation, anger.

Annoyance is a very ineffective remedy against an irritating factor and is not worth a waste of nerves, it is better to replace annoyance with the word "Trivia":

They stepped on their feet in transport and stained their shoes - it's nothing,
The tights are torn - trifles,
The minibus slammed the doors in front of your nose and drove away - no big deal,
Lost, which you have been making for a whole day, a document is nothing (you can make it again! - it is better to spend time, not nerves),
Stuck in a traffic jam for four hours – “trivia”!!!

Resentment - will not correct the situation with the annoying factor, but it will quietly "flutter" your nerves until enough time has passed so that you can forget about your irritation. Replace the offense with the phrase "So be it ...":

Friends did not invite you to the celebration – “So be it ...”,
The partner did not buy you a gift (forgot) – “So be it ...”,
Someone treated you rudely – “So be it ...”,
Someone from colleagues or just acquaintances spoke to you impartially - so be it! (after all, they do not know you thoroughly: what is your inner world, what kind of person you really are!) .

Indignation - it will not hit the irritant, but only as much as you will be indignant (a third of the nervous system can be shattered in the process of indignation). It is better to replace indignation ... with a wave of the hand down (everything that came to mind at that moment, speak mentally!):

Stole your favorite thing - wave your hand down (silently),
Promised and not fulfilled - wave of the hand down (silently),
"Ruin" the work of a whole month - wave your hand (silently),
Got into an emergency on the road - wave your hand (silently) and call the traffic police and the insurer, and do not irritate yourself in vain,
The neighbors poured water - wave their hand (silently) - they didn't do it on purpose, and you will deliberately unwind your nerves if you get involved in a showdown!

Anger - is capable of destroying the nervous system thoroughly, if it is not extinguished at the very beginning. Anger is best dealt with the phrase, "I'll think about it later." Anger tends to flare up quickly and quickly go out if you do not allow it to gain full strength. Do not forget that in anger, sometimes a person does not remember what he is doing and saying, which means that you, not controlling yourself at the moment of anger, can ruin a lot:

They say or have already said something unpleasant to you, and you feel a wave of anger rise inside - take a deep breath and say: "I'll think about it later ... not now ... not this minute!" and quickly turn your attention to other things (preferably urgent ones so that they distract you from thinking about the situation that provokes anger). Remember, a person can forgive a lot to other people, being in a calm and balanced state, and does not forgive anything, being angry.

If you eventually learn to keep your nervous system "on a short leash", then you will cease to be nervous over trifles.