My own psychologist >>>> How to stop being offended?

How to stop being offended?

Resentment is a personality trait that is not inherent in all people without exception. Usually those people who themselves attach great importance to what was said or done are offended by words or actions. The one who puts meaning into words and deeds believes that other people also act, and, accordingly, he will evaluate any spoken word or action directed at the person himself, according to the meaning invested by another person. Resentment is dangerous only for an offended person, but for someone who does not attach deep meaning to what is said or done by strangers, resentment does not cause any damage.

Grievances can have a different nature: some grievances live for a long time in the head of an offended person, due to his rigid personality type, who tends to get hung up on unpleasant moments of life. Other grievances are remembered for a long time if the offender was not expected to do an undeserved unfair action. The underestimation of one person by another often breeds resentment. Some grievances are fleeting, for example, those that are generated by an excessively high self-esteem of the offended, but fleeting grievances can also spoil relationships between people for a while.

To cope with one's own resentment, it is necessary to understand the nature of resentment and relate it to the specific situation in which a person received resentment. It must be understood that grievances can be inflicted intentionally or accidentally.

Deliberately offending someone, the offender puts into his actions or words the meaning that, in his opinion, should cause moral harm to his opponent. But in order to offend intentionally, it is necessary to study the person to whom the offense is intended, in order to understand how and with what it is possible to hurt his pride. Thus, often excessive demonstrative resentment becomes a vulnerability of a person, as it opens the door for offensive actions in his direction.

Accidental insults cause no less harm to the touchy person, but their source may not even be aware of the significant harm he causes to another person. It makes no sense to pay attention to such offensive attacks, since the offender, having done something offensive, does not remember anything about this moment and does not know that he offended someone.

Grievances accumulate in a person’s head, violate his spiritual stability, and require time for fruitless reflection. The accumulation of resentments is completely pointless in terms of getting out of conflict situations, but a touchy person can derive some benefit for himself - this is an opportunity to train his own self-control and learn to cope with resentment as a source of stress.

How to stop being offended?

First, you need to understand that the opinion of people regarding your person can only be important in cases where these people are trying to correct your shortcomings and accidentally hurt you. But self-esteem is always more important, as it gives a person confidence in life. Therefore, if the offense is not aimed at pointing out some non-ideal moments in a person that can be considered, then you can bring to the fore your own counterargument in your favor. Of course, this is done mentally, for oneself, in order to extinguish the wave of resentment.
Secondly, it is not necessary to demonstrate touchiness to the outside world, since this is the personal side of a person’s character, and he is free to experience internal moments that are uncomfortable for himself unnoticed by others. This in turn disarms those who examine the vulnerabilities of others.
Thirdly, true friends of touchiness are punctuality, responsibility for everything without exception, perfectionism, mood imbalance, excessive suspicion. These traits give resentment a stable character, feed its lifetime. Such traits in one's character must be smoothed out so that insults do not have the opportunity to be born and exist.
Fourthly, it makes no sense to attach importance to all words and actions addressed to you without exception, they can be random, and sometimes even with elements of a misunderstood joke. You do not need an analysis of the entire flow of words and actions addressed to you - this is just the background of life, only an analysis of what comes from benevolent people is important.
Fifth, the best cure for resentment is forgetfulness. It is the memory that can erase the sharp moments in offensive actions and allow a person who is inclined to be offended for various reasons to continue communicating with his potential or real offenders.

Touchy people are always considered difficult natures due to the fact that it is difficult to interact with them even superficially. On the one hand, resentment is a defensive reaction to attacks from the outside, cutting off at least for a while the possibility of unpleasant interaction, and on the other hand, resentment is an obstacle to communication and the creation of multiple friendly contacts. Therefore, one's own resentment must be eradicated by switching to more pleasant people and more pleasant moments of life around.